Monday, November 13, 2006

In the beginning

When the first baby laughed for the first time, the laugh broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies. And now when every new baby is born its first laugh becomes a fairy. So there ought to be ~ James Matthew Barrie

My dearest E.,

You arrived on 25 October 2005, after having laboured with me for 18 hours. It was discovered that you refused to leave your warm, water-filled sanctuary- and I begged that you would because the world here is so much more beautiful and pleasing than the one inside me. You'll see for yourself.

I was told that you were perfectly round, perfectly beautiful, perfectly cherubic, when you came out, covered with blood, fluids and such. I hadn't yet met you, because I had been drugged to facilitate your entry into this world. And I think that when you met me the next morning, we both fell in love with each other. Thus began our love affair....and which has prompted me to write this, for fear that you will lose sight of my love for you someday, and for keepsakes' too, perhaps. That you will know how loved you are, and no matter how difficult or trying things can be in the future, you will know that I love you completely and unconditionally, and that perhaps I am not as evil or cold-hearted or sorrowful as you may someday make me out to be.

You were a little cherub, a fairy. Like the song, "Close to you" by the Carpenters, I thought that indeed, moonlight, romantic dust, starlight and all idyllic dreams were in your eyes. If there was such thing as perfection, you would be Perfection.

Do you know: that your arrival mis-aligned the stars and moon? They were so enraptured with your beauty that they stole time off from their duties to visit you. They made slow, silky moves across the room and looked over your crib, where you lay as angelic as can be, your long curly lashes casting shadows over your chubby cheeks. And they kissed you every night, they couldn't resist it. You were, and still are, so beautiful.

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